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A person is a reflection of their culture, of what they believe and how they live their lives. A bridge between the past and the future, between time and space and needs to try to keep them in harmony, less they become unbalanced. Not to be aware of the past and give it due consideration in the building of the future can distort the future. Neither is it wise to sacrifice your future because you choose to live in or as if you are in the past. One World One Human Race One Destiny (OWOHROD)

Tuesday 26 July 2016

A THOUGHT FOR NOW - THE EXPECTATIONS WE HAVE OF OTHERS. PART ONE.

Sometimes people come to see what your are doing 'as your role' because it is something you 'always do it.' That, you might be able to live with or accept, but then, they begin to take you for granted, seeing what you do 'as no big thing' but what they expect of you.

A son or daughter have things which they come to expect of their parents, because 'it is what parents do', and 'what is expected - especially by the children - of good parents.' It is, for the children, something their parents should not be expected to be thanked for, because, well, 'it is what they should do for their children, is it not? Well, the parents might rejoin, let us just say that so it is, at least in your eyes

And so you can have infants growing up to become juniors and, at that age, probably, rightly having this now reinforced core belief that it is their parents role in life to clothes, feed, water and shelter them. And you as parents, might, almost certainly, at times feel stressed out by this burdensome expectation, but you persevere and continue to do your 'duty' because, well, 'it is what parents are expected to do for their children. And then they grow into becoming pubescent children and later into teenagers, and with the now subconscious expectation that the primary expectation of mum and dad is to be at their beck and call, ensuring that they not only have this and that, but the latest this and the latest that. And if they ever contemplated for a moment the thought of how hard mum and/or dad might have to work to 'meet what is expected of parents', it is probably likely that they might expurgate it from their minds quickly, to avoid being tortured by the thought that their parents have feelings and feel pain; like them. One can understand the psychology of such a mindset, since it would be more difficult for children to pressure their parents if they were to constantly think of them as givers of reassurance, comfort and healing, but also as sentient beings in need of it as well.

But, of course, most parents, probably being masochistic as a result of being shaped since - ironies of ironies and paradoxes of paradoxes - throughout their lives into 'what is expected of parents, especially the 'good ones'', still try to live up to what 'is expected of them' not only of their children, but of society.

And what become of these 'expectant' children when they become young adults in their late teens and twenties; are they automatically transformed into readiness to assume the roles of 'what is expected of parents', or do they delay the transition to acquire the role, while they extend the 'expectation of dependency' on their parents?

Well, I would not want to generalise. The answer is probably that most of them do, while a significant percentage, for various reasons, do not.

The day you stop doing what people ' have come to expect of and see as your role', and for which you are not being paid, will be the day you provide them with the opportunity to stop taking you for granted, and to learn and grow; even if you will find that you have to repeat that lesson.

Live and enjoy your living and do not be afraid to challenge those - including your children - who you believe or know to be taking you for granted; especially when they are too selfish to do anything or as much for your benefit.

To be continued.

Parents are probably better able to meet their children's 'expectations', because they, have their own childhood to reflect upon and, all things being equal, able to empathise with their children.

No comments:

Trying To Get Through

IS v Racism -t he prioritization of 'Evils'?

There comes a time when the challenges confronting us are so innumerable that we need to decide on the order of priority in battling them.

This, I consider, is the moment of truth for Muslims who are living in predominantly secular and Christian Europe, as Islamic extremists seek to take humanity back to the dark ages.

Europe's Muslims, as far as I can see, has as much or more to fear from the Daesh and IS barbarians as non-Muslims. They have to decide whether they want to give up the more liberal lives they are living in Europe, for the darkness which IS and Daesh want to inflict on them and the rest of humanity.

Muslims and the liberal left in Europe should no longer tolerate the use of 'the racism and colonialism argument, as a necessary and sufficient condition or explanation for explaining the parasitic Daesh virus amongst the Muslim diaspora.

It is a lazy, inaccurate and dangerous analysis; considering that the majority of the diaspora would not benefit from the overthrow of the existing order.

Wishing to Conversing with My Audience

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American Pro-lifers and Choicers

Why is it that an advanced country such as the United States, has some of the most anachronistic laws in the world? How is it that a country with a Constitution which is idealized by Americans and put forward as one of the, if not the best Constitutions, denies women the basis right of deciding whether or not they should choose to have an abortion?

Is this not a form of State chattelry? And what of the hypocrisy when this punitive stance towards women is compared with the American government's 'freedom of choice' to make wars against other nations, and destroy the people's lives with no regard to the 'pro-life' principle which the anti-abortionists fanatics use to deny American women their right to have the choice of deciding whether or not to have an abortion?

The US' judiciary, which still reflects much of the values of 18th Century British penal colonies, needs to take a more enlightened approach towards enabling women to exercise their rights over their bodies, instead of it current quasi-puritanical approach.

2. What Happens When the Young Jihadists Appear before Allah?

So, there were these young martyred British Jihadists who were summoned to appear before Allah. God looked at the group of spiritual beings floating before him and said: You guys look very young. Tell me, what terrible misfortune blotted out your earthly lives so early?

You mean you do not know, God, said the group. Of course I do not know, God replied, and then asked them, do your parents know everything you did? No, God, they responded simultaneously. So, God said to them, again, what terrible misfortune brought you here before me? We went on Jihad and were martyred, God.

What does that mean? God asked them. Before they could answer, God said to them, You are not going to disrespect me by telling me you have killed your fellow human beings in my name? Are you?, said God.

Well, God, they said, we were told that one of the greatest service a Muslim can perform is Jihad. You mean, Said God, that killing people, my people, because I have no preference for Muslims, Christians, Jews, Atheists, et al, is a good thing to do? And are you now expecting me to reward you? You are taking the proverbial piss, are you not? Get out of my sight, you moronic evil-doers.

Thought For The Day

Consider this:

The principle that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us, would probably carry more weight, had it not been for the fact that not many of us expect or believe that terrible misfortune - such as being a political refugee or homeless migrant - will befall us, and we are therefore less likely to empathise with those experiencing such misfortune.

Unless you are amongst the more unfortunate, live your appreciatively and endeavour to avoid speaking ill of them, especially if you are unable or have chosen not to assist them.

Ponder this:

Add a bit of fun variety into your life today, by either doing something different or doing something you routinely do, differently today. People might take notice, or they might not, as the mind has a way of sometimes interpreting something which has been done differently as if it has been done the same way. What we might call the 'after image effect', whereby you are still seeing what has already moved on.

As much as you can, endeavour to be at one with time and space today, and have an enjoyable day.

Ponder this:

Being healthy and maintaining ones health, like so many other things in living, is and has to become 'a way of life.' The saying, 'prevention is better than cure', is even more pertinent in our contemporary lives, when, even in cases where cure is an option, its cost can be prohibitive and beyond the scope of many.

Make healthy living a part of your routine, especially as it would then be less of a challenge for your children your children to emulate.

Do some exercise on a daily basis and make it a part of your daily diet.

Consider this:

It might be advantageous for a person or country to do something morally repugnant, but the corollary has to be that, in so doing, you have, arguably, debased yourself even more than they have; especially if they have a tendency to do morally questionable things.

Endeavour to have a morally valid compass, and be guided by it.

Consider this:

The real problem is not that you have a difference of opinion or are in a potentially conflictual situation with someone, but rather how you go about trying to resolve or improve the situation and avoid it becoming an open conflict.

Sometimes it is extremely difficult, if not unavoidable for us to end up in disputes, which, too often, causes pain and distress to some or all of the people involved, and there will be times when we hold our position, even despite the pain it causes us, because we 'think and/or feel that we are right and the other person/s are wrong.'

Persist in trying to live your life as well and enjoyable as you can, endeavouring never to be the cause of avoidable distress to your fellow humans, or as little as possible.

Ponder this:

8. Coordinating, monitoring and reviewing the plan.

So now, you have been implementing your plan, and, as tends to be the case with plans to resolve difficult problems, some things might have been going well, with others not or not so well. Some members of the team will have been carrying out the tasks and roles they agreed to perform, while others might be displaying less motivation and commitment. This is not unusual; it does happen, and it will take time, encouragement and inducements to improve the situation.

If, for example, you are working on improving the attitude and behaviour of 'a rebellious teenager', it might be the case that, consciously or subconsciously, he/she is, at this early stage of the implementation of the plan, still getting more 'satisfaction' out of being 'in rebellion', than out of the 'changed-environment' which the plan is trying to create. This could lead that person to feel 'threatened' by the prospect of the 'change', and to 'resisting' it. It calls for a lot of understanding and mutual empathy within the 'problem-solving team or system.'

Part of the process of monitoring the implementation of the plan will be to observe how how the members of the team are carrying it out and how the changes are impacting on them. For example, how a parent might respond to the 'rebellious teenager', when he/she desplay upsetting behaviour; will it be, probably the 'old angry' response, or the 'new adult response' which is intended to bring about the desired changes, even though, what the parent is feeling might be the same 'anger' which the behaviour elicited in the past.

It will be part of the brief of the Review meetings to enable everybody to have their say in giving their individual accounts of how they have performed and experienced the implementation of the plan, what they found positive and negative, and what changes they feel might be needed to to make it more effective in achieving its objectives.

Another task for the review meeting will be discuss whether any additional resources are required and from whom, to enable the team to achieve the plan's objectives. A revised plan, which specifies any changes which are made or to be made, should be drawn up, agreed, and implemented. It should also have another date for it to be reviewed.

With the necessary changes, this approach can be taken with all or most interpersonal 'problem-solving' issues.

Ponder this:

7. Excuting, monitoring and reviewing your plan.

For a to be successful in achieving the objectives or goals it is targeting, it requires more than being a good plan with achievable objectives. It needs to be carefully implemented, the various tasks which are being carried out by different persons, in this case, including members of the family, being coordinated, and it needs careful monitoring of how what is being done is being done and when.

This raises the question of who is or are to do the monitoring and the coordinating. If there is a family member, let us say, an extended family member who is not directly involved in the 'problem-solution system', and is able and willing to do the coordination and monitoring, he/she could be used. If not, it might require an adult member of the family to carry out this role, although he/she would need to be very careful to be 'as objective' as possible in doing so.

If the problem were to get to the point where it is necessary for an external agency, such as childrens services, becomes involved, this role could be taken on by a social worker or similar professional.

The coordinator will need to keep some record of how the plan is progressing, so that they can be used at the reviewing of the plan.

Consider this:

6. Putting your plan into action

So, let us take it that you have now successfully addressed some the problems over which you have most control and influence, and that you now feel ready to tackle some of the more complex ones. It will be a good strategy for you to not attempt to address the most complex ones to begin with, but probably address some familial ones, such as, say, any problems around your relationship, child rearing and behaviour, home management and the sharing of roles within the family, bullying, etc.

An example could be that of a child behaving 'rebellious' - a common developmental stage which children experience - and it affecting all or most aspects of the family's living. The plan which is most likely to be successful in addressing this common problem, is likely to be one which elicits and take account of the views of all of the people - the 'rebellious child', siblings, parents, significant relatives and friends - affected by the problem, both in terms of how it is affecting them, what they consider would be the best outcomes, and how they might be achieved, and the time-frame within which those objectives could be achieved. The plan needs to be realistic. For example, 'a rebellious child' who is struggling to establish some autonomy over him/herself, and differentiation from others and the world, is not going be able to achieve accommodation with the causes of the internal/external conflict overnight; it will take time. That means that the plan will need to address the issue of how to support those struggling most with the child's behaviour, including the child.

The plan should, as I have already mentioned, be specific about what roles and tasks are expected of all the people who will be working to resolve it, and have a specified starting date, and review dates, when all the involved persons will meet to discuss how it is progressing, and what, if any changes are to be made to the plan, in order to improve its likelihood of being successful.

A good starting point would be to have a meeting prior to launching the plan.

Consider this:

Problem-solving

5. Taking on the bigger challenges

By now you will have planned and implemented you plans to resolve some of you less challenging problems, ie, those over which you have most control and influence, and is able to address them with little or no big contributions from others. If this is not the case, then how about making some more plans to address some more of these problems, and implementing, so as to enhance your confidence and resolve to take on the bigger and more complex problems, for which you will need the active involvement of those who constitute the 'problem-system' and also the 'problem-resolution system'?

When you confidence is boosted, as a result of the successes you have had in resolving the less complex problems, it will be time to take on the bigger ones.

Ponder this:

Let us put aside our fears of the gods, today, unless they be of the human variety whose weapon of fear is manifested through weapons of death and destruction.

At the same time, let us today give thanks and praises to the gods who are manifested in our own power and that of our fellow humans to improve our conditions on earth.

Live your life as fully and enjoyable as you can, and eschew devoting yourself to the gods of our ancestors, because they have not the power to assist us or destroy us; those are powers which are quintessentially ours; humans!

Ponder this:

Today, we will take a break from 'problem solving.' If you are able spare some time or make some time to have some quiet contemplation, by safely switching off from doing what you are doing, and placing yourself in a sphere of silence which excludes all discordant 'noises' from 'the real material world, then, give is a try. If you do not succeed today, then consider giving it another try as many times as you wish.

Make your day as near as you are able to, to the one you desire, and have some laughs and good cheer as well.

Consider this:

4. Confidence building.

So, now that you have devised your plan, how about doing a bit of confidence-building work, to put yourself into the right psychological frame to be successful?

Success can breed further success, as well as arrogance, which can leads to failure, so you have to endeavour to ensure that, for you, it is further success it breeds, and not arrongance.

To help with your confidence-building work, examine the list of 'important problems' and identify those over which you have most of the control or influence to resolve or alleviate them, and then develop and implement plans to effect the outcome you desire.

With you having most of the control or influence to effect positive changes in these 'problem-systems', you should be able to have positive outcomes in some or most of them, which should boost your confidence and self-confidence in begin to implement the more complex and challenging problems.

Consider this:

3. Devising a Plan of action

Now that you have identified your two categories of problems, and have analysed their origins, who they are impacting on and what the impact is, and what your desired or ‘post-problem’ situation would look like, it is now time for you to set about devising a plan of action which has a good chance of realising the goals you have set yourself and relevant others to achieve.

In doing this, it would be helpful for you to address the following points:

Obtain the views of others who are relevant to the problems you have identified and explored. Get their individual and collective views through discussion with them.
Ascertain from them what action they would be willing to take to resolve the problems or bring about improvements in the situation, irrespective of the problems, should they be unresolvable.
Find out from them what improvements they would like to see, and have a discussion around reaching an agreement about working to achieve an agreed set of objectives.
Draft and agree a written plan, outlines the problems to be resolved or improved, summary of how they are impacting on individual members of the team which is going to work to address them, and the specific role and actions which each member of the team will be taking to successfully implement the plan.

2. Analysis

So, now that you have identified your key problems and those which are important but not as pressing, it is time to move on to analysing both categories of problems. In order to analyse your problems, you will need to ‘interrogate’ them by asking and exploring some basic questions of them. These are not exhaustive questions, but they should include the following:

· What is the nature of each problem?

· When did it began and what were the circumstances giving rise to it?

· Who are the people the problem is impacting on adversely, and what are their views about it?

· What has been done to address the problem to date, and what has been the outcome?

· Whose ‘problem’ is it, and are they taking ownership of it?

· What resources, including people, do you need to resolve the problem, if it can be resolved, or to alleviate it, if it cannot be completely resolved?

· What control or influence have you got over the factors giving rise to and/or perpetuating the problem?

· How is this problem affecting your feelings and living, now, and are likely to do in the future?

· What does the resolution or alleviation of the problem look like; what outcomes do you want or desire?

Contemplate on this:

Problem-solving obstacles to enjoying living. 1

Are you experiencing major obstacles in your living, which are or have become major barriers to you living a reasonably enjoyable life?

If so, and there are probably few, if any of us who are do not, at some points in our lives, experience such difficulties, then try to apply the 'smart' approach to help you overcome some of these obstacles.

Begin by making a list of the major obstacles, and another list of those which are important, but have less harmful impact on your capacity to live your life reasonably happily.

To be continued.

Consider this:

Worrying about events which we cannot assimilate or accommodate, because of missing information or the fact that we cannot change their status, is understandable and a natural human condition. Yet, because worrying inflicts such emotional and psychological and, even physical pain, it can blight our lives.

Try to remember that worrying is a masochistic vice which torture the 'soul of humans' and produces nothing of value.

Endeavour to live your and maximise your emotional health and happiness.

Consider this:

However great you and/or others perceive you to be, in death you are of no more value to anyone than that of the death of most insignificant of persons. All are equalises in death.

Therefore, live your life well and enjoyably, and endeavour to add value to the lives of others who will continue after you, until destiny calls on them to join the cosmic time train.

Consider this:

The obvious lesson which any casual observer or student of living will have learn, is that living is not about continuous or permanent bliss, but is rather about a combination of happiness, satisfaction, joy, tragedy, loss, pain, pleasure and much more.

The proportion of these various ingredients in each persons living is often times a matter of fate, rather than design or the result of their own actions.

Live your life as well as you are able to, and endeavour to calibrate your rhythm with that of the universe.

Ponder this:

Do you count and appreciate your blessings sufficiently, or do you tend to be more preoccupied with what you have not got and aspire to have? Do you tend to compare your life with that of others whose living you know or assume to be better than yours, or with the living of those whose living is demonstrable worse than your?

If it is the former, then it is almost certain that you will be feeling dissatisfied with your life, and probably not appreciating your likely comparatively good fortune.

Endeavour to live your life well and happily, and not be preoccupied about how much of the world's resources you must have in order to feel secure.

Ponder this:

There are some things for which saying you are sorry will never be enough, as nothing can bring back the preceding status quo.

You can therefore decide to endeavour to 'accept' or 'acquiesce', or accommodate' the new asymmetrical and tough reality, and to get on with the rest of your life, and/or seek 'justice' or revenge for the wrong you have suffered, and further blight the rest of your life.

Consider this:

Fear is probably the strongest of human emotions, and is a condition which has the strongest control over us, whether it be the couple fearing his/her partner being disloyal and betraying them, or the family caught up in an horrendous conflict and fearing for the safety of their relatives.

Muslims seek to attempt to deal with this fear by 'Inshallahising', whereas there is a Spanish aying, que sera sera - whatever will be will be. And so it is that the things we fear most are the things which have greatest control or influence over how we perceive of the world and live our lives.

Endeavour to control your fear, especially when you have no or little control over what give rise to them, and enjoy your live as best you can.

~Consider this - The danger of Ego Domination

Moderation in all things, sayeth the sage, and well do we know that excess or extremism, be it in drinking, eating, pleasure seeking, religious or p0litical beliefs, ascetism, or isolating oneself from other, is not a virtue.

Neither is ego domination. It is well that we should maintain the good health of our self-esteem and our self-confidence, but we should also be mindful of the fact that our ego - ego and ergo - can be squashed or remain underdeveloped, as well as becoming over-inflated. Just as how our happiness and emotional ans social health is dependent on having a health and balanced ego, so are they at risk from us losing control of our 'identified selves' as a result of us developing inflated and uncontrolled egos, which then become 'us.'

Live your life as well as you can, and endeavour to keep things in proportion and in control; as much as you can.

Contemplate of this:

Time is infinite but humans are finite. Consider whether you are spending too much of your little time doing 'meaningless' things that bring you and joy or reward, such as the means to pay your way, and too little doing things over which you have more control. If so, consider getting a better balance.

Live your life and endeavour to enjoy the present moment; do something you have not done for sometime, such as reading a book you would not normally read, listening to some cool mood music, enjoy the beauty of your or someone else's garden or field.

Contemplate on this:

I am assuming that probably most people form their opinion of other people based on assumptions they make about them, both as individuals who they have met, and as particular groups, whether based on ethnicity, religion, or categories, eg, 'criminals.'

Because of this assumed tendency, it might be better for us not to become too preoccupied with the fact that we make theses assumption, but rather focus on the importance of us rigorously testing out our assumption. We should also be very careful not to put 'selected proof' or 'evidence' into our 'assumptive template', so as to make them 'fit', 'prove', or 'validate' the assumptions we have made.

Live and enjoy your life and endeavour to learn from others who they and what they are about, before making judgements about them, if you find it necessary to make such judgements.

Ponder this:

If it be your tendency or routine to be in a rush and in a hurry, probably getting alot done or not as much as you would have liked or expected, then, do take a little of this time you are rushing or hurrying to catch and utilize, to reflect on what you are doing, how you are doing it and what you are achieving.

Live your life as well and as enjoyable as you can, because it is the only one you have, and when you are gone, eventually there will be no permanent exhibit of the life you lived.

Ponder this:

A person who escapes death is like a person who just missed his/her train to a desirable destination, with the difference being that, whereas the latter is viewed as a disappointment, the former is a matter of great relief.

Consider this:

Humility is a more endearing human characteristic than arrogance, even though there might be a stage in a person's life when the latter seems to come naturally to him/her. Humility is born of patience, maturity and thoughtful contemplation.

Live your life as fully as you can, and endeavour not to repay arrogance with arrogance, but rather try to open the door towards humility.

Consider this:

The Lonely Isolation of the Change-setters.

Being in the vanguard of effecting cultural changes can be a very lonely and isolating role. Whether you are the first woman to do something or the first black or Asian person to go to a mainly or completely white country, being in the vanguard can be a very challenging experience.

To effect change by virtue of being the first or amongst the first to do something requires self-confidence, self-belief, courage and the motivation and commitment to be successful and make a difference. This can be both exciting and rewarding.

Live your life as fully as you can and do not be put off by the challenges of being the first, whether it be an Emily Pankhurst, a Florence Nightingale, a Sojourner Truth, a Matthew Henson, or a Wayne Riley; go for it.

Contemplate on this:

There are times when it is prudent to not be so presumptive of the held we seek or ask for, in case it 'blinds' us to what is being offered, which is probably more fitting or appropriate to our needs, but which we refuse or reject, simply because it was not 'what we asked for.'

Endeavour to keep an open mind and allow yourself to consider important issues on their respective merits; not applying a 'standard and undynamic' measure to them.

Contemplate on this:

Be guided by the principle of maximalism in all your positive and humane endeavours, while being guided by the principle of minimalism whenever you are being negative and destructive!

Make today a positive day.

Consider this:

Journeying through life.

Today is another opportunity to make a fresh start or to continue where you left off yesterday, in your journey through life.

If yesterday was a good day for you, then endeavour to have another good or better day today. Conversely, if yesterday was a bad day for you, then seize the opportunity today presents you with, to have a good or better day.

Consider this:

Think health and fitness. If it is not already so, add a few minutes of daily exercise to your regular routine. Probably next to sex, your body is very receptive to regular workouts and can thrive on it. Go on; exhilarate your body, and feel better for doing so.

Have a great day!

Contemplate on this:

Do not be too dismayed by or complacent about the misery which has been, is and will continue to be the lot of millions of humans. Do what you can to assist the needy who you are able to help, but your despair and vicarious pain will do nothing to reduce the misery of those suffering it.

Try and make yourself happy or happier today, and reduce the collective unhappiness of humans.

Contemplate on this:

The duration of life

When in rude health and having all the world to live for, life is probably never long enough. When you are in the grip of pain and sorrow, then life may be an incarceration from which you desire relief, and it might seem too long.

Try to avoid contemplating on the length of life, as it can be a thing of sorrow and despair. Spend your life doing the things that brings you happiness while you live.

Consider this:

The things one has to experience for themselves.

There are in life some things, both desirable and undesirable ones, which, like death, we cannot protect others from having to experience for themselves. Try as we might to explain and encourage our children, eg, from having to experience the grief and misfortune we or others have endured as a result of doing certain things, such as drugs, smoking, crime, we often times fail to convince them. And so it seems, that, like death, people just have to do certain things and learn from their own experience, and not from ours. Of course, death is not a lesson which anybody is able to learn from and apply it.

Try to avoid the frustration and sometimes grief of of trying to 'help', or 'make life easier' for those you love, unless they are prepared to listen.

Consider this:

If you intend to seek the assistance of the 'golden goose' or 'the fatted calf', then make sure that you protect it and place yourself in a position to contribute towards it and, if necessary, takes over it role. Not to do so would result in its depletion and destruction.

This pertains to those who, at times in their lives, have had the need to resort to seeking help from either or both their family's or the state's 'FC' or 'GG.' Unless a person work diligently to achieve their own economic and financial self-sufficiency, they could find themselves abusing and exploiting the individual or collective goodwill of others whose labour have created these wealth pools.

Contemplate on this:

If it seems too good to be true, then it probably a scam!

Self or externally induced deception can be extremely costly in terms of robbing you of your money, your time, your dignity and your credibility.

The world is full of grafters, ordinary decent hard working people who struggle to make a living is the majority. There is a minority who, through a combination of genius, hard work, luck and/or deception, make it big. They are the minority.

Go cautiously while you yearn to be amongst the minority, taking care neither to deceive yourself or to be deceived by the deceivers who thrive on the aspirations of some amongst the majority to make it big, and, preferably, quick.

Contemplate on this:

Health Matters. As I see it, an adult has a right to give preference to probably the two most notorious but seductive tastes - salt and sweet - and eat unhealthily, but being mindful of the fact that they, as presumed responsible adults, should take responsibility for their eating choice on their health and social interaction.

Where adults do not have any right, in my opinion, is to ignore health advice and deliberately feed their children on unhealthy diets, and harm their physical and psychological health and restrict their life options

Eat healthily; but if you cannot, do spare your children the pain of unhealthy diets.

Consider this:

‘Do you trust’? Or, ‘Don’t you trust me’? Is a question many of us will ask of others, especially a loved one, at some point in our lives. Being ‘trusted’ by the people we love, that we are going to keep a promise we have made to them seems to be vital to our ego. Yet, sometimes this enquiry is made of a loved one after the questioner has failed to deliver on past occasions, so he/she might now enquire of the loved one: ‘don’t you trust me’, or ‘don’t you believe me’?

As I see it, it would be much better for a person to just state what he or she is going to do and proceed to make it come to fruition – providing it is not a threat they have made to harm someone. Unless the person asking the question is implying that what they said they are going to do, cannot be done without the other person ‘trusting them’ or ‘believing in them’, then I see little point in getting you to state whether or not you believe that they will succeed in realising their dreams or their plans. If they say yes, they ‘believe you ‘ or that they ‘trust you’ to do so, you cannot know if they are telling the truth, or if they are only saying they do, in order to spare you feelings

The essence of the matter is that, unless you are only going to realise your dreams or plans to spite anybody who did not believe you could do it, you are going to be successful or unsuccessful regardless of what anybody thinks or believe; providing they are not going to intervene to sabotage you.

Keep working at realising your dreams and plans; it is built on your self-belief and will be realised by your continuing motivation, commitment and tireless work. Ask for people’s support, but consider carefully why you would need their ‘trust’ or for them to ‘believe in you.’

Consider this:

There is nothing wrong with people disagreeing with each other, in fact, it is, as you might say, normal to disagree with others about some things. It is an expression of 'free will' and ones individuality. If, however, you find yourself always disagreeing with other people about most things, then you might need to reflect on and review your 'standard perspectives or view-points, to see if you have a perceptual and/or analytical and/or communicational dysfunction.

When all is said and done, what is most important is that you should be able to get on with people, despite your different perspectives and points of views. You can do this by focusing on your basic human characteristics and needs; to be appreciated, respected; loved and treated with kindness and not hatred.

Learn to not be controlled by your differences and disagreements with your fellow human, but to put them aside and get on with real business of living and enjoying life.

Try to avoid revisiting painful expression of your disagreements, if you find that they only result in rekindling them and continuing the pain. Give them time and they will be resolved or dissipated.

Consider this:

What kind of day do you think you will have today, if you put no thought into thinking about it and making it happen?

Endeavour to make today, as much as possible, the kind of day you desire it to be, by maximising the utilization of the control you have realise your desires, and minimising the effect of relevant things over which you have little or no control.

Be at one with the positive forces and have a great day.

Contemplate on this:

Man and woman that are born of woman is destined to endure the pain and unhappiness which are a consequence of life, and to enjoy the sensual pleasures that are the products of conscious thought and feeling.

And so it is that pain and pleasure are the cost and rewards of human consciousness, and that neither will depart from them until they return to the unconsciousness of oblivion.

Live your life in peace and endeavour to have as much pleasure as you can, without impeding the pleasure of others or adding to their pain.

Consider this:

Happiness and relaxation can be a state of ones mind, as well as a response to external stimuli. Unhappiness is usually caused by a conflict between what is expected and/or desired, and what has transpired or is expected to happen.

How well you are able to reconcile conflict between your experienced reality and the one you desire, will determine the extent of your happiness or unhappiness.

Endeavour to have some good and extended laughs today, and relieve some of your stresses.

Consider this:

If it is the case that violence begets violence, sometimes on an escalating scale, and also begets its own rationalisation or justification, then, is it also the case that peace begets peace and reinforces itself?

If I make you angry and you strike me, it might make me angry and want to strike you harder; if you show me kindness it might mellow me and make me want to return the kindness.

Endeavour to live in peace with your fellow humans and prosper.

Contemplate on this:

Do not take credit for the achievements of your ancestors, unless you are also willing to accept accountability for his failures and any offences they have inflicted on the ancestors of others.

Take only the positive from the past and use it to spearhead yourself into a better future. Let the misery and unhappiness of the past remains consigned to the past and avoid revisiting them and renewing your pain.

Live in peace with your fellow humans.

Consider this:

There comes a time when you greatly desire to do something to help somebody who is suffering, but you simply do not have the means or control to do so.

Such are the times when you simply have to acquiesce to your state of powerlessness, and focus on rationalising your emotional and intellectual response to the distressing stimulus.

Continue to do what you can to effect improvements in the conditions of your fellow humans, but avoid distressing yourself too much when you are unable to do so!

Contemplate on this:

When people, for fear of being labelled and condemned for what they think or believe, keep quiet and passively nod, how can you know what they really think and believe, and whether or not it is detrimental?

And if you do not know what the really think and believe, how can you work to effect any desirable changes, when honest debate cannot take place?

Abusive behaviour, in speech or action, should be discouraged, but care should be taken to avoid doing so by creating a climate of fear of expressing ones thoughts and beliefs.

Contemplate of this:

People's ancient history is like the birth of a person, in that you are the product of the birth but you have done little or nothing in conscious in the process.

Study your history and marvel and be amazed by it, but do not become zealous, arrogant and over-possessive about it, as you made no contribution towards it. If you speak proudly of your ancient traditions and achievements, then, should you not also acknowledge and show humility regarding the wrongs of your ancestors?

Study and learn from the history of your ancestors, but remember that that history refers to the past, and that the more important history is that which is yet to be made, and that it requires your active participation.

Live your life in the present and the future, and be humble when you speak of the history of the ancestors.

Contemplate on This:

If you consider yourself to be the more favoured of god or the gods, then how should that, that I am less favoured by them, make be feel? Should I revel in your exceptionalism and feel inferior or should I resent you and the gods?

Live your life today as best you can and share the joys of today and the anticipated ones for tomorrow with your fellow humans and work to diminish things from the past which separates or could separate you.

Consider this:

Having the capacity and willingness to empathise is the beginning of understanding and human advancement.

When a person had deviated from the path of peace, in the past, it might have resulted in tragedy and sadness. However, when such a person appears to have move back onto the road of peace, why would you want to use their past deviation to knock them off again. Would the motive be to have revenge?

Try to avoid condemning a person's past misdeeds, without giving consideration to their severity and context.

Consider this:

What can be worse than to deprive a person from properly using their senses of sighting, feeling and hearing, by placing them in confinement in a penal institution, not for a matter of weeks or months, but for years? This has to be the most profound expression of mental and psychological torture.

As you go about living today, if you can, be appreciative of the simple, but probably most essential, things in life; having the freedom to move about, to see others and/or be close to them, to feel the Sun and breeze on your face and skin, to hear voices which are objectively real and not frightening.

Contemplate on this:

First try to define who you are, and then what kind of person you aspire to become, and make use of relevant role models to assist you to become the best of the person you aspire to become, and not necessarily a clone or imperfect imitation of your role models.

May you succeed in becoming the best of the person you are striving to become, and feel fulfilled in doing so.

Contemplate on this:

My friend pre-empted a story he was about to tell me by citing 'a Chinese proverb that, before you embark on taking revenge, dig two graves.'

I am now pondering on what could be the meaning of this proverb or saying. Could it be that, by taking revenge for a wrong done or presumed to have been done, the revenge taker or vengeful person/s give rise to another situation which might lead to others wanting to take revenge?

Try to avoid and/or control poisoning your mind with vengeful thoughts which nurish the impulse for vengeance. The time will probably come when you will be thankful that you have done so.

Consider this:

A compassionate person is destined to be burdened with the grief and sadness of others, even when he or she is powerless to relieve them of their poignant burden, and free his/herself of this vicarious misfortune.

Thus it is said, that such a person cannot be truly free while his brethren remain shackled.

May your day today brings you happiness, as vicarious grief probably assist nobody and simply add to the the primary victim, though you should hold to your compassion.

Consider this:

The Death of Prince on 21/042016 leaves millions of us in grief, as we asked the question, Why? Why did you have to go when you did or were taken, O Prince, and leave us bereft of you adding to your musical and entertaining genius?

Drift On, O Prince, as the Purple spectral light light your journey into oblivion. We know we shall all follow, in due course

Consider this:

The light is the source of life for both the 'good' and the 'bad' as none can be revealed the in impenetrability of darkness, and can there only live in the light, which will reveal them as being 'good' or 'bad' deeds.

Live well today and keep as much as you can to the 'good' end of the spectrum of 'good and bad.'

Contemplate on this:

What matters most in life is being in a position to determine or influence the chosen path by which you live your life and realise your fate.

May you be able to meet your fate with courage and strength.

Consider this:

Your thoughts are probably the key filter through which you live your life. The extent to which you are able to control or not allow other people or things to control your thoughts can determine how much misery or mental peace your experience.

Harden not your mind, but endeavour to submit it your desires.

Consider this:

Freedom of thought is the first stage of achieving freedom, followed by the freedom of being able to express your free thoughts, and culminating in the freedom to give effect to the thoughts you have expressed.

Freedom will often times be a matter of degrees of freedom, the extent of which will be determined by your and other's wish to limit what if any infringement your freedom causes to theirs.

Free your mind of the negative constraints places on it by others.

Consider this:

Why are the gods angry with Japan?

Of recent years Japan and her people have been put to the sword by earthquakes and Tsunamis. And so it is that the gods of misfortune wreak havoc with no thought of how much suffering they have already caused to their innocent victims, and naught the Japanese can do but rebuild and prepare as best they can for the next disaster.

Let their courage be multiplied so that they remain unyielding, while the more fortunate of the world count their blessings.

Contemplate on this:

Probably one of the biggest vice of faith schools which only cater for their faith, is the fact that they prepare their pupils to perpetrate 'exceptionalism', divisions, prejudices, and ill-equip them to have a fuller participation in the world.

Try to avoid submitting yourself to or having religious myopia defining you you should be and what role you perform in life. Think for yourself and set your own goals and limits. After all, you came into the world alone and will be departing alone.

Consider this;

Should the perceived rights of the individual not take precedence over those of the group, be it a religious, political or cultural group, especially when the principles of the group seek to replace the legal rights of the individual?

Consider this

Poverty and destitution will always walk the earth.

It is sad and a matter of much despair, yet, it is a fact that there will always be some people living in great destitution, at one end of the spectrum, and others in great opulence, at the other end, with even more living at different levels of between the two extremes.

Do what you can to help your fellow human in need, but do not think that poverty is a condition which is going to be wiped off the face of the earth.

Contemplate on this:

Unless you normally do so, try to be at one with the universes you are able to contemplate today. Try and free your mind of all that stands between you and all that is and was, until you are able to attain inner silence and renewal.

Let inner peace be your companion today, even if there is turmoil outside.

Consider this:

The doer and the thinker

Which is greater, to think too much or to be too busy doing things or have a balanced position? Probably the latter, as the thinker cannot realises what he/she is thinking without converting it into action, whereas the doer needs to have his/her action informed by their thinking, as is manifested in the balanced approach, where thinking is manifested in what is done.

Live your day and achieve balance between what you do and what you intended to do to achieve your goals or objectives.

Ponder this:

Becoming more like but less than

Does a woman, in her desire or ambition to gain equality and succeed in 'a mans' world', has to become more like the stereotypical man, and de-emphasise her feminity, and if so, does she then become less of a woman, even if stereotypical one, while still not being quite 'like a man'?

Let the struggle continue, for there is still much to be achieved

Contemplate on this:

Life as an incidental reaction of the evolutionary process.

There is no evidence of which I am aware, that life is the outcome of a planned process, although it is very paradoxical that humans, having most probably been the result of a chaotic, disorderly unfocused process of evolution, should become so obsessed with his/her quest for order and purposefulness.

Try to live this moment as well as you can or want to, as it is the only one you have control of.

Contemplate on this:

Life as an incidental reaction of the evolutionary process.

Try to live this moment as well as you can or want to, as it is the only one you have control of.

Consider this:

Living life by moments

As I look through my window the Sun is shining, the trees are being gradually clothed in their leaves and foliage, the dark tinted clouds are drifting almost imperceptible against the blue sky, the nesting birds are chirping and singing and all appears to be calm, and I think to myself, this moment of today is enjoyable.

Live your life and enjoy each enjoyable moments, being aware that happy life is not only made up of happy moments, and that we do not live days, or weeks, or years at a time, but one moment to the next.

Contemplate on this:

On matters of being

On which plane do you spend most of your time each day; is it the physical and material plane, or the 'spiritual and philosophical one, or are you usually able to achieve equilibrium?

Some are given to the material and physical, some are given to the spiritual and philosophical and others are given a measure of each. Continue on your journey toward self-realisation absorption by the universe.

Consider this:

The merits of doing a hated job well.

Is you find yourself having to do a job which you do not like or even hate, but which is not detrimental to you or to others, consider doing it to the best of your ability. Do it with a certain pride and respect, especially is it is the main or sole source of your livelihood. Even as you continue to try to find one which you desire to do.

You might not be getting any or much sense of satisfaction from the job itself, but doing well and succeeding will provide you with both satisfaction and motivation.

Continue with your search, while doing what you have to do well.

Contemplate on this:

What people desire most.

At its core, what all of us desire is happiness, with happiness being defined as that thing or state for which we aspire most at any given time. Thus, if our child, partner, relative or close friend, or we are ill, happiness for us, mean the recovery from that state of sickness. If we are unemployed and struggling to pay the rent, the school fee, buy food and clothe, etc, happiness means being able to get a job which pays enough to meet some or all of these needs.

Be successful in your desire to achieve some happiness this day!

Consider this:

Do positive even when your ego would prefer you to do negative.

How many times do we, in our anger, say and do things we would not ordinarily have done or say when we are feeling calm, cool and collected, only to kick ourselves and feel terrible later?

Yes, I suspect that you might agree with me that the times when this occurs, are too many, and that, sad as it might seem, may happen again.

Resolve to count to 10, or take a walk, or bite your tongue - if you do think it, do not do it - or say something calming and positive - even though at this time you might not mean it - to the person or thing which is evoking this powerful negative and destructive energy in you.

Make your and somebody's day positive as often as you can!

Ponder this:

That living could be a matter of taking turns, because now we are in pain and full of sadness, whereas others are happily enjoying the fruits of Spring and are in rude health, and lo it might be that tomorrow we shall have abundant happiness and cause to be joyous, whereas it might be their or others turn to be in pain and tearful!

And so it be that living is a matter of taking turns in drinking from the cups of happiness and unhappiness; of joy and of sorrow, until we are consumed by time and by space.

Consider this:

Happiness is a relative state of spiritual equilibrium, which can be achieved by the reduction or elimination of difficult to achieve desires, or their fulfilment.

Take some deliberate action to achieve some happiness today!

Contemplate on this:

What is it that people aspires to most in their lives? Is it good health? lots of money and abundant material possessions? Or is it happiness?

What do you aspires to most of all?

May the Sun shines on and give you warmth this day.

Consider this:

What are you searching or aspiring for? Is it 'the truth', or your own 'happiness' , or could both be one and the same thing?

Of course, 'your own happiness' could so easily result in the 'unhappiness' of others. As for the 'truth', well, what is that?Would you know it if you find it, unless you are able to define it first?

Journey in peace and quiet contemplation!

Contemplate on this:

By what perverted reasoning could a person deceive himself into killing his brother or sister, thinking that he is protecting or defending his god, and then expect to be rewarded for his murderous act?

Remember that the gods are gods and do not need mortal man to defend or protect them. Rather, it is they who should be protecting us.

May your day be a pleasant one!

Consider this:

Time is infinite!

Life can be timely and time is infinite. Avoid rushing, where you can, as you could have more options tomorrow; if you are around. In any case, we cannot compete with time.

Consider this:

Health Matters

Clinical obesity, especially when it is gross, is probably the ultimate and most austere form of physical incarceration of human mind/spirit.

It is much less challenging to avoid becoming clinically obese, so diligently control the quality and amount of food and drink you consume, in order to increases your chances of living a health and active life, while avoiding becoming an avoidable prisioner to your very body!

Work at enjoying today!

Consider this:

The impact you make and others make on you.

When your time and space on this earth has expired, whatever memory remains of you will be of the contribution and impact you have made to the lives of other, and not that which they have made on you. Since you will not be around to tell or appreciate the latter.

Focus, therefore, on the common good and the needs of the collective, and how you can or continue to make a positive difference to their well-being!

May your day be blessed with feelings and thoughts of peace and joy!

Ponder this:

Seeing the good for the bad

When so much appears to be wrong with the world, and 'bad news' predominates, sanity demands that we look for and focus, if only briefly, on what is 'good' and positive about humanity.

May your day be one of relative peace and quiet contemplation.

Consider this:

Barrier to helping migrants

People might not be opposed to helping other who are desperate or less fortunate than them, but many or most would not want to do so if it is going to imperil them.

This applies to the migrant and refugee crisis which is affecting Europe. Europeans, like any other people, will be reluctant to and/or apprehensive about having an open door about taking in and having more migrants and refugees permanently, if they believe it is going to remove or decrease their feeling of security in their own countries.

This is especially the case when the newcomers ethnicities, cultures and religions beliefs are significantly differentiated from those of the host countries

Contemplate on this:

It is not what a person does that necessarily defines him/her, vocationally, but how well or how badly they do what they do.

In striving to live a fuller life we need to aim to achieve the sum of the different identities or personas of which we are made up, instead of being recognised and known only for the paid work we do.

Thus we have to put some effort in the other roles - sibling, mother, father, brother, sister, grandparents, grand relatives, neighbour, wife, husband, citizen, home-maker, helper of the poor, the oppressed and the destitute, et al. Only then can we truly begin to live a life of fulfillment.

May good fortune be with you today.

Consider this:

There are some things in life which we cannot learn from or be taught by the experience of others, such as how to experience death, which each person has to experience for him/herself.

So, go on, learn as much as you can from the experience and recollections of others, and avoid as much of the negatives as you can. The human race is stronger for our collective accumulated knowledge and learning, since it reduces the chances of us repeating destructive historical events.

Contemplate on this: